Yesterday something happened where I spilled water on my laptop while walking to a meeting which has never happened in the 10 years I’ve worked here. Suddenly I was faced with the prospect of losing a lot of valuable work I didn’t save on the cloud or backed up. I had gotten complacent in the last 2 years by not backing up regularly and I was faced with the worst case scenario of having lost all of my valuable work and the time I would need to get some of my work back as well as the work I may never be able to recover.
I was overcome with fear, anxiety and hopelessness as I felt like part of my brain would be erased from not having my laptop that I relied on to be competent and appear as if I was on top of everything for my job as a supervisor. At that moment as I was reading your email about what my North Star was, I was trying to think and formulate a response and I’m still not sure I have a good answer.
I think part of my North Star is feeling like someone that knows what I am doing and someone people could turn to for help and by losing my computer and all the years of data, I felt I could not be able to do that. It’s also about developing people to be future leaders which was part of “that thing” that I didn’t have to rely on my laptop as much. Some of it is also the pursuit of excellence in my job, family, life in general and I felt this incident put me back a few months because I would now have to spend a lot more time trying to recover some of data to achieve excellence in my job which would take away from the other parts of my life which was frustrating because I already feel I am operating under a deficit of time.
It made me wonder about how I can respond or mitigate my emotions when something happens in life that appears to affect my North Star negatively.